Discernment Counseling
Core Mechanism
Helping each partner gain clarity and confidence about the direction of their relationship through individual reflection within a couples frame
Ontology
Ambivalence about the relationship is a legitimate state that deserves its own clinical attention, not premature therapy or premature termination
Therapeutic Voice
"I'm not going to do couples therapy with you today. Instead, I want to help each of you get clearer about what you want and what you've contributed to getting here."
View of the Person
A choosing being at a crossroads, deserving clarity before committing to any of the three paths
Evidence
Emerging consensus for mixed-agenda couples
No RCT located; evidence is an observational case series (100 consecutive cases; Doherty, Harris & Wilde, 2016)
None yet
The only approach specifically designed for couples where one partner wants divorce, though the evidence base to date is an observational case series rather than an RCT. Brief protocol before committing to therapy or divorce.
Conditions
Epistemology
Blind Spots
Very brief: cannot address deep relational patterns; limited evidence base; requires specific training in managing leaning-out partner
Contraindications
Active domestic violence, couples who have already firmly decided to divorce or stay, active psychosis, situations where one partner is using discernment to stall or control the other
Training
Discernment Counseling training (Doherty Institute)
Doherty Institute certification
24 hrs + consultation
$2K-4K
Philosophical Roots
Pragmatism (informed decision-making); existential choice; Doherty's 'moral context' of relationships
Related Modalities
Test Yourself
What is a 'mixed-agenda' couple?
Show answer
One partner is leaning out of the relationship (considering divorce) while the other is leaning in (wanting to work on it). Traditional couples therapy fails because they have different goals.